Exercise

The Gospel of Mark says that at the beginning of Jesus' preaching and healing bonanza--that is, the beginning of his ministry: "When his family heard it, they went out to restrain him, for people were saying 'He has gone out of his mind.'" This suggests not only that Jesus' ministry began very suddenly, but--I think--that he also had a revelatory insight, a fundamental change of perspective, an insight great enough to produce a sudden and unprecedented change in his character and disposition. Recall also that a prophet is never accepted in his hometown. (What changed?)
Not only did the people--who presumably knew him before--think that he had "gone out of his mind"--which itself suggests a major shift in his disposition--but also his very family seems to be surprised by the information.
If this new Jesus--who happens to be the only one we know, apart from such apocryphal gospels as Thomas', whose depiction of the self-consciously divine child-Jesus is here contradicted--rather, if this Jesus is new at all, as the reactions of his family and acquaintances would imply, then what does that mean about who Jesus was before this sudden change? And what does that imply about his purpose and his own conviction concerning it? Most importantly, what does this insight entail concerning Jesus' fundamental nature?

Point, awaiting counterpoint. Seize the present uncertainty: faith, child. Faith.

Conquest

There’s a subtle narcissism to romantic love. Practice in selfishness, as I’ve heard someone say.

She loves you, and you slowly transform her into yourself. If you’re good. Otherwise you exploit her naïve praises, her very nature of worship, to reflect your egoistic fantasies. You don’t have the originality for transformation. And you don’t know yourself well enough to model.

You lover, you imperialist. You conqueror of mannerisms, you stealer of laughter. That praise was meant for world, for God, for creation, and you are guiltlessly reflecting it upon yourself. Tan, boy. Steal her glow.

You obliterate her happiness when it doesn’t hail your glory. Your schemes, disgusting, you schemer, so obvious, so exploitive, and yet you still deceive yourself. You are righteous, justified in your indignation. Yes, you have the right to be jealous. Know your rights and then live by them. Lean on, leaner.

Loss

What if my sins have ruined me? I know I can't court the past—I just want to know if I can still become what I was meant to be. Have I stepped too far in the shoes of my side-demon? Am I condemned to a Euclidean window-view of a bright life in parallel?

&

Writing is a skill in that it takes practice—but the practice is in the intervals. The arduous act of writing is merely a peripheral practice in looseness. Life informs your words.

We humans must practice living.

Dear Society, School, Evangelist, etc.:

I regretfully must decline your offer.



Sincerely yours forevermore,

signed,
Ironic.